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Literature Text
sometimes I'd
like to tear the wings off butterflies
to see if they'd still fly.
show off your wings when
you leave your cocoon so
I can pick off the best of them.
does a butterfly without
wings still deserve to be more
than the caterpillar it was?
or did I destroy the
very best of you when
you grew?
the only way to know
is to try it so
come my love
I want to destroy something beautiful.
deny me this
will you?
like to tear the wings off butterflies
to see if they'd still fly.
show off your wings when
you leave your cocoon so
I can pick off the best of them.
does a butterfly without
wings still deserve to be more
than the caterpillar it was?
or did I destroy the
very best of you when
you grew?
the only way to know
is to try it so
come my love
I want to destroy something beautiful.
deny me this
will you?
Ah, it's been so long since I've put anything up here.
© 2012 - 2024 AngelRide
Comments14
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Critique:
This is a really good piece with quite a sad premise behind it. It made me feel sad just reading it!
The only critique I can give is that I think you need to use capitals as the piece looks amateurish without them. That's just my opinion of course. But I think it looks better with capitals.
The structure and pace of the piece is fantastic and the story progresses nicely; something that can be difficult to do in such a short piece of poetry.
Well done
This is a really good piece with quite a sad premise behind it. It made me feel sad just reading it!
The only critique I can give is that I think you need to use capitals as the piece looks amateurish without them. That's just my opinion of course. But I think it looks better with capitals.
The structure and pace of the piece is fantastic and the story progresses nicely; something that can be difficult to do in such a short piece of poetry.
Well done